Learning to trust your own judgement 

Have you ever found yourself questioning a decision you’ve made, despite having the knowledge and experience to make it? Perhaps you’ve spent time researching, weighing up the options and considering different perspectives, only to find yourself going round in circles. Or maybe you’ve made a decision but then found yourself looking for reassurance that you’ve got it right. 

It’s interesting how easily we can lose trust in ourselves, even when we have plenty of evidence to show that we are capable. Recently, I’ve been reminded of this myself as I’ve been learning something new. I’ve noticed how often I’ve questioned my own judgement and capabilities, sometimes looking for further reassurance when I already have the knowledge and understanding to make my own assessment. 

It made me think about the relationship between confidence, capability and self-trust, particularly where we look for external validation when evaluating our own experiences and abilities. 

Where do we look for reassurance? 

We might think of trusting ourselves as believing that we can do something. But I think it goes a little further than that. It’s also about trusting our judgement, recognising the value of our experience and being able to evaluate our own decisions without needing someone else to confirm that we’ve got things right. 

Of course, seeking advice, listening to others and being open to different perspectives are important. Self-trust doesn’t mean assuming we have all the answers or that our first instinct is always right. The difference is whether we can consider other perspectives without automatically dismissing our own. 

When we rely heavily on external validation, we can find ourselves giving other people’s opinions more weight than our own, even when we have the knowledge and experience to make an informed assessment. 

The role of uncertainty 

Sometimes, when we feel uncertain, we look outside ourselves for confirmation. We might ask another person what they think, revisit a decision or keep searching for more information. These things can be helpful, but they can also become ways of avoiding the discomfort of trusting our own judgement. And perhaps that’s where the opportunity lies. 

Rather than trying to eliminate uncertainty, what if we focused on building our ability to sit with it? We can acknowledge what we don’t know while recognising what we do know. We can make a decision based on the information available to us, knowing that we may need to adapt as things unfold. We can make mistakes without allowing them to become evidence that we cannot trust ourselves. 

How much do you trust yourself? 

This matters in all areas of life, but particularly in leadership, where decisions are rarely made with complete information and where there isn’t always someone else to provide reassurance. So… how much do you trust yourself right now? 

Not how confident you appear to others, or how capable other people believe you to be, but how much you trust your own judgement, decisions and abilities. And if that trust feels a little wobbly, what might help you strengthen it? 

Perhaps it starts with noticing when you’re looking outside yourself for an answer and taking a moment to consider what you already think, know and believe. Because trusting yourself doesn’t have to mean having more confidence, knowing more or getting everything right. Sometimes, it simply means giving your own evaluation the same consideration, patience and belief that you might readily offer someone else.