Overcome discomfort and share your strengths

This quote serves as a fantastic reminder for those of you who find it hard to identify, share or promote your strengths and successes at work. For many of us, just thinking about our strengths, not to mention telling someone else about them can make us feel pretty uncomfortable. So, how can we get comfortable with the discomfort of selling our strengths when we need to?   

First, it’s useful to identify the cause of discomfort.  

Identify the ‘ick factor’  

How comfortable with this idea do you feel right now, on a scale of 1 = fine to 10 = want to run away and hide!? 

It could be cultural or societal norms getting in your way. If modesty and humility are valued over self-promotion in your culture or family, talking about your successes can seen as boastful or arrogant. This is often the case for women, this HBR article gives some additional insight into this. 

Not that? Maybe it’s your old friend The Judge or one of the many other unkind negative self-talk monsters (find out more in here) that drip feeds self-doubt and judgement into your mind. These unhelpful messages of not being good enough, being judged harshly by others or of being rejected knock your confidence and make you doubt your capability.  

Still can’t find your strengths!? You do have some, I promise, it’s just you might find it hard to identify them or you might be underestimating just how significant your strengths actually are. Asking friends or family can be helpful here, more on that below. 

And that’s why I love this quote! Being able to back up your strengths with cold, hard facts that showcase what you’ve achieved can really help to alleviate the ‘ick factor’ that so many of us feel when talking about how great we are. 

So, just how great are you?  

Now that you’ve figured out what’s been getting in your way and stopping you from talking comfortably about your strengths, it’s time to delve into what they actually are. Remember, we’re going to back them up with indisputable truths because, all together now “It’s not bragging if it’s true”! 

A top tip before you start is to try to be objective here. It’s tough, especially when your unhelpful, ingrained thoughts about sharing your successes are still trying to get in on the action and stop you, but it’s important.  

A strengths sharing strategy 

Write down all your achievements, strengths and successes under a few different category headings and add something like “I am amazing” in the centre. While this might feel a bit cringey to some of you, it will help to get into the right mindset, which is that you’re looking for all the positive facts that prove that statement. Then, write down everything you can think of that shows just how brilliant you are.  

Below are some ideas for categories to get you started, feel free to choose or add your own.

If you’re struggling with this, how about asking a friend or family member to do it for you first. Just as the saying goes, “it’s hard to spot the spinach in your own teeth”, it can be hard to spot your own strengths, because of the reasons outlined in the beginning. 

It can also help to look at it from a different, less positive perspective. While it might seem counter-intuitive, thinking about your not-so good bits might just help to reveal your very best bits. Take a look at my Teacher Horizons blog to find out more about how your barriers can also be your greatest strengths!  

How do you feel now? 

I hope that looking into why you find it uncomfortable to share your strengths has helped and that now you’re starting to feel more confident to identify and comfortably talk about them. If you’re not there yet, don’t worry, keep practising and remember not to listen to those unhelpful, negative monster voices that will creep in and try and stop you! 👹💦🔫