Finding your people: creating strong support networks for school leaders 

The hidden weight of leadership 

School leadership is a role filled with purpose, challenge and reward, but it can also feel isolating. Even with a strong team, the weight of responsibility can feel like yours alone to carry. 

With Valentine’s Day approaching, we often focus on love and connection in our personal lives. But what about in leadership? Who strengthens your heart? Who lightens your load? And crucially, are you turning to the right people for the right kind of support? 

The different types of support leaders need 

Not all support is the same. Just like in your personal relationships, different people in our professional lives serve different roles. A well-rounded support system can make all the difference to your resilience and effectiveness as a leader. Here are five key types of support: 

• Strategic thinking partners – Those people who help you think clearly, plan effectively and solve complex, or wicked problems. They challenge your thinking and help you find solutions rather than just sympathising with you. 

• Emotional anchors – These people listen without judgment, allow you to offload safely and help you process challenges without fuelling negativity. 

• Practical allies – These are colleagues or team members who help lighten the load with practical solutions and shared responsibility. 

• Honest challengers – Those who aren’t afraid to push back, ask tough questions, or help you see blind spots you might not have noticed or you’re avoiding! 

• Personal cheerleaders – The people who remind you of your strengths, boost your confidence and lift you up when you’re doubting yourself. 

The problem with turning to the wrong people 

We all have habits when it comes to seeking support, but not all support is truly helpful. Sometimes we turn to the wrong people for the wrong reasons; seeking reassurance instead of real solutions or venting to someone who adds to your frustration rather than helping you move forward. 

This is where self-awareness is key. If you often seek support from someone who reinforces a sense of overwhelm or turn to a practical ally when you really need an emotional anchor, you might find yourself feeling stuck rather than supported. 

How to build a strong support network 

1. Identify who you already have – Think about the people you turn to regularly. What type of support do they provide? 

2. Look for gaps – Are you missing a key type of support? If so, where could you build a new connection? 

3. Be intentional – Strengthen relationships by being open about what you need and by offering support to others in return. 

4. Normalise asking for help – Leadership is not about having all the answers; it’s about knowing where to go for guidance, reflection and support. 

Leadership is lighter when the load is shared 

As a leader, you set the tone for the culture of support within your team. By actively seeking and offering the right kind of help, you not only strengthen your own resilience but also create a school environment where collaboration and wellbeing thrive. 

So, as you reflect this season of lurve, ask yourself – Who’s in your corner? How are you showing up in theirs? And what one step could you take this week to strengthen the connections that will help you lead with heart?